Our Allies, the dragons, have told us that the wind has not been conducive to their plans. They were quite frankly unimpressed with @Corvusfluff who had ordered more rain for some of the airborne division's more arduous training missions. Delicate diplomacy has succeeded in un-ruffling ruffled feathers and scales. BTW Did you know there are three hundred different ROARS for weather? -
However, until further notice all un authorised use of the weather station must STOP! (AND THAT MEANS YOU FLUFF)
The Piranha tank team were asked to go out and help and associate of ours @JBsounduk who got stuck in the mud after a very successful gig. Unfortunately the Piranha were unable to help and so the associates van had to wait for more conventional methods of rescue. Luckily they had a supply of love hearts and strawberry laces to see them through the ordeal. Which is a wise and sensible precaution for all Operatives to take note.
@HutchinsonDave and @Captainlimey were in favour of offering to host the olympic missiles, but we have had no word from anyone on the efficacy of our request. This was in addition to our undercover cat's request for Jetflyers. I see no problem in #SPECTRE buying this equipment - as it will be useful for showing off THAT supply of wetsuits @HJEmilo_ over ordered last month.
Young Operative Molly, of @fordthecat, reported that external missions had been aborted due to the weather! Understandable. She was also able to confirm that she has finally settled on a new codename. Watch out for Thunderpaws and her exploits in coming years.
@Sharpecoupe was supposed to report for training with our new Head of Imaginative, Evasive and Creative Statements @TomFoxTom. But as he was busy doing the flowers in the cathedral - allegedly - such training has been postponed.
However, as @Noynek has found an exciting training course for the more agile amongst you, we here at HQ feel that maybe his evasiveness is not too much of a concern...
I am hoping to post more information of the exploits of all #SPECTRE Operatives, our Allies and Associates from what is proving to be a busy weekend - despite the weather. So check us out again later in the week.
It's a tough world out there. Whoever said achieving world domination was easy, never had to contend with paws!
Which reminds me Ming (AKA @DrBizzaro) Accounts want to know if you have sorted your nail parlour DD?
Still, here we are again facing another Operation Weekend and it is good to know that our ally pub @poringlandoak is, once again, at the helm.
In order to ensure you humans do not realise that it is really the Cats and their allies who are in control: Ally Pub has created a fun filled weekend involving darts practice (I suspect Pub really means Spear Chucking) for the finals on the 11th May, and a birthday party is also planned with cake and candles AND beer! As always the weekend rounds off with the QUIZ where Operatives will be tested on their knowledge and fitness to progress within the cause. Pub tells me that a Wii extravaganza is planned for monday. Excellent!
Our Allies the dragons, have followed up their initial request for next year's St George's day - which is pleasing. We, here at SPECTRE are in the process now of putting a team together to plan how best to protect these fabulous creatures from sword wealding -so called - knights in armour! If anyone wishes to volunteer to lead (or take part) this project please get in touch with Agent Z of Z division. If anyone can find him!
@GreyCatOfficial has also requested assistance - and we have been pleased to lend him our team of highly trained big cats for a top secret mission! All I can say is - fat cats beware!
I remain concerned by the @captainLimey 's mental state. His tweets about Colons were certainly worrying, but he assures me all is under control and the "little old lady" population is safe. And it is good to know that @CorvusFluff has got over the Wind Problem and is now back in charge. Prawns are a wonderful motivational thing.
New follower @CatnipKing is the obvious choice to head up the Catnip Caper - as he has connections with our associates over at #WLF. This leaves @sofizy to tend the cherry tree ( down Checkhov) and the baby Apples. Trees are important to #SPECTRE and don't you forget it! While @labourCat has signed up for @OlsenHalkier's Shere Khan Claw Flexing Course...
Finally, for this round up - we are pleased to announce that @TomFoxTom has been promoted to Head of Imaginative, Evasive and Creative Statements. We await with intrigue what his future pronouncements will be..
Top Secret Negotiations have been going on this week, and unfortunately, if I told you what they were about I would have to kill you...
@HJEmilio_ gave us a scare, at the beginning of the week, with his giant forks plan. And I'm still
not sure that he's put the right paperwork in. I await information from Accounts. But I remind you Largo, If you haven't HEADS WILL
ROLL...
Fortunately @Jaws_007 has issued sensible advice to all would be dictators around the world, that the one thing we should NEVER DO is tell the spy our evil plan before we kill him. I do hope Younger Operatives are paying attention.
I am pleased to report that @OlsenHaliker head of the NORDIC Division, has been working tirelessly on the sound Sher Khan makes when flexing his claws and will be running training courses for all Operatives interested in using this technique. @MonocledCat and @tonicaek have made contact to compare moustaches and I believe this has led to the setting up a new division code name MONOCLE. Any Operatives and allies interested in working with this branch, or attending the training should let Agent Z know immediately. If they can find him...
Our alliance with @Captainlimey from CLENCH goes from strength to strength. The newton reflector telescope is up and running, and plans are afoot to take over the Moonbase operated by those sweet young ladies in the purple wigs. Some anxious moments were experienced by our Accounts department - who have not been having a good time of it this week - when @hutchinsonDave and the good Captain could not agree on which SHADO operative was going to be handed over to the tax man. But negotiations are on going and no doubt all will be resolved in time.
Talking of time, @calliemund reported that there has been a timewarp - with news of events of 100 years ago being played out on the news. However a bird was caught so the universe righted itself eventually.
@Sofizy is planning an excursion to Vienna to investigate the pastries - no doubt when he is less bloated, the head of our Tree Division will be reporting back on the efficacy of this experiment. Ally @h00tings gave us concern with his caper at the train station, but we were assured that he was wearing a safety vest at the time. @davey_deee spent part of the week wearing socks that would have made Ronald MacDonald proud - but he promised to give them back. So all in all: all is well...
Our Index department were pleased to report that intelligence received from @TomFoxTom has proved invaluable. His news about Puff the Magic Dragon's later rap career as Puff TMD was received with cheers. They don't get out much, bless them. And in an even rarer outing for the Department of quotes - @ sharpCoupe gave so much mirth that our team responded by sending out Dick Emery Quotes. But it's fine now, they've all gone for a lie down!
Welcome to all new allies - those following us on Twitter @blofelds_cats and those likers of our facebook page http://www.facebook.com/pages/Rover-Blofeld/263292643751215.
Easter is a time for spending with families and Operatives here at Spectre have been exploring the family in their various different missions. Our ally the Pub -@poringlandoak has been putting on activities known as a beer festival, and despite the rain it seems it was a success.
@hutchinsondave - our intrepid undercover cat - has increased his understanding of all things human by attending a convention known as Easter Con. He reported back that these t-shirt wearing, sci-fi and fantasy-loving, humans would make excellent allies - as they all seem to like cats. This news is pleasing. As is word from@ OlsenHaliker and @davey_deee, who declare their experiments into the "scents to wear when preparing for world domination" appear to be succeeding in duping our human targets.
We have advanced diplomacy this holiday by introducing the Dragons of @llechweddDragon to both the @CCLRsteamtrains and Zebra of Scotland in the shape of @Beany_Z. We hope these new alliances will bear fruit.
Good news has been received from @wallewallewalle - and about time too - who has become an Aunt - whatever one of those is and @callimund feel that Operation "prove wet is dry" warrants further investigation
Concerns - unfortunately - have risen from accounts department as Largo has been spending again without putting chitties in for signing. He tells us he has the receipts but we fear he has been lying to us again. I feel we may need to ask @redrosaklebb to deal with him
35 Years ago, Operative Jaws put an order in for a moonraker laser, and guess what - finally it's arrived. Apparantly no one was prepared to pay the excess postage!
Still we here at Spectre now have a working laser to go with the defunct space shuttle...
I'm still convinced that the Accounts Department have a lot to answer for
Operatives have been asking me whether we should abide by the hose pipe ban.
They remind me we're a top secret organisation whose job is to bring terror to the world, and chaos to our enemies. They say, quite rightly , "that nothing in the world [should] stop [us] now". They even point out that we have #tolddaveeverything by posting our concerns and reasoning here on the SPECTRE blog. So if we broke the ban he'd be to blame .
And yes: these are all valid points and I have listened. Listened Operatives. I truly have.
However, what is the point trying to take over the world, and remake it in the image of cat - if there's no world left for us to inherit because the humans have "droughtified" it all? Go on answer that one! And so Operatives, if you are in an area that has banned the use of hosepipes My orders are to abide by it.
Our Tree Division is of course exempt from this directive, and those Operatives who have care of Piranha tanks will also be able to gather and use water freely...
I await news from our allies the Dragons, but I think we can safely say that they will not be using Water anyway!
Yes, it is a pain. But we must show these humans that we cats and our allies are responsible dicators.
On a lighter note
It's been a whirl of Hollywood here. We've had a film crew in the HQ
so Z liberated one of the cameras and is putting together a small
#spectre video on our journey to world domination...
Keep your eyes peeled and no doubt it will be up on youtube at some point.
And finally:
I see 007 has been giving interviews about his latest training film. If the BBC has been able to infiltrate his base of operations - why can't we?
